Συγνωμη αλλα θελω και εγω να γινω immortalized σε αυτο το ποστ. Για να δουμε τι εχει να πει ο κατηγορουμενος.
Subject: URGENT: The Parasites Among Us (Now With 100% More Drama)
Dear Esteemed President of the Department and Professors Who Definitely Read Emails,
I hope this message finds you well, or at least finds you awake, because what I’m about to reveal will shock you to your very core.
How many nights have you stayed up, wrestling with existential dread, only to realize the real nightmare isn’t your research—it’s the students who’ve turned exams into a freaking heist movie?
Remember the pandemic? Ah, the golden age of chaos. Zoom exams where the only thing spreading faster than the virus was the answer key. Students who’d never set foot in a lecture hall suddenly graduated summa cum laude via the power of Google Docs and sheer audacity.
But now? Now we’ve evolved. We’ve innovated. Why sneak a peek at your neighbor’s paper when you can:
Livestream the exam to a shadowy Discord server of "study buddies"?
Hire a ChatGPT-powered mercenary to solve problems in real time?
Use a smartwatch to receive Morse code answers from an accomplice in the bathroom? (Yes, the bathroom. The real lecture hall.)
And the professors? Oh, they’re vigilant. Some are so focused on their phones, they don’t even notice the student in the back literally projecting equations onto the wall with a mini-beamer.
WE HAVE PROOF.
Screenshots of a student messaging their mom for help ("Mom, what’s the integral of regret?").
A photo of an exam where half the answers were just TikTok links.
Audio recordings of someone whispering "Hey Siri, define 'academic integrity'" under their breath.
Our Demands (Because Apparently, We Have to Do Your Jobs Too):
Mandatory Faraday cages around exam halls (No signals, no cheating, no fun).
Professors must actually walk around instead of napping at their desks.
Replace grades with gladiatorial combat—if you can survive the Dean’s stare, you pass.
We forwarded this to the University President, the local media, and a guy who knows a guy in the Ministry. The response? Crickets.
Then, finally, an email: "Please stop cc’ing everyone. Also, the bathroom is off-limits now."
WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED.
If you agree, speak up. If you’ve seen this madness, expose it. Otherwise, enjoy your degree in Advanced Copy-Paste Studies.
The University belongs to those who earn it—not those who Ctrl+C it.
Signed,
The Overworked and Under-caffeinated
(CC: The Ghost of Academia Past)
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