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[Πληροφορίες Καθηγητών]

Πληροφορίες Καθηγητών

[Wade]

Two strings walk into a bar.  The first one says, “Bartender! Bartender! I want a drink!”
The second one says, “Bartender! Bartender! I want a drink too! blaaaaaaaaah Eeeeeeeek yaaaaaaak oooooooh.”
The first one says, “Please excuse my friend.  He isn't null terminated.”

 

[Johnny English]

Εγώ που δε γελάω είμαι σε καλό δρόμο..? 

Αν και ομολογώ, το τελευταίο με το parity ήταν πετυχημένο.. 

[bjork]

το ένα πιο καμένο απ' τ' άλλο...αφιερωμένο σε όσους παιδεύονται με κώδικα 


Eight bytes walk into a bar.  The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”

“Yeah,” reply the bytes.  “Make us a double.”


“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”


Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.


Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.


All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.


Have you heard about the new Cray super computer?  It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.


Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.


From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary:

Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.


Lubarsky’s Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There’s always one more bug.
Shaw’s Principle: Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.
Woltman’s Law: Never program and drink beer at the same time.
Gallois’ Revelation: If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled, and no one dares to criticize it.


Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer.  This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge.  They set themselves before their computers and begin.  They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.

Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity.  Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.  He asks Satan to show his work.  Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing.  I lost it all when the power went out.”

“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”

Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. 

Satan is astonished.  He stutters, “B-b-but how?!  I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact!  How did he do it?”

God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”


Top 10 phrases spoken by a Klingon Programmer

A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family.  Prepare to die!
You question the worthiness of my code?  I should kill you where you stand!
Our competitors are without honor!
Specifications are for the weak and timid!
This machine is GAGH!  I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
Perhaps it IS a good day to die!  I say we ship it!
Our users will know fear and cower before our software!  Ship it!  Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
My program has just dumped Stova Core!
Behold, the keyboard of Kalis!  The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!

[Γιώργος]

Bjork σε νοιώθω αμέριστα.
Keep on postin'


Ps: Η ML κι η Prolog απλά είναι απάλευτες.

[bakeneko]

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”

XAXAXAXAXAAX

[Nessa NetMonster]

Εγώ δεν το κατάλαβα...

[SolidSNK]

Εγώ δεν το κατάλαβα...

Epeidi i java einai argi!

Eight bytes walk into a bar.  The bartender asks, “Can I get you anything?”

“Yeah,” reply the bytes.  “Make us a double.”

[Wade]

Μια ωραία ιστορία με την ELIZA, ένα από τα πρώτα chatbots που φτιάχτηκαν, και είναι σχεδιασμένο σαν παρωδία ψυχαναλυτή

http://www.kurzweilai.net/meme/frame.html?main=/articles/art0319.html?

[Καλλισθένης]

Linux is free only if your time is worthless.

[Turambar]

να σχολιάσω (εκτός τόπου βέβαια) την αλλαγή στην κλασσική σου υπογραφή!

[bjork]

απάλευτα...!

An SQL statement walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and says "Can I JOIN you?".

If you were an x-y plane, I’d want to approach your origin from positive integers.

If I could be your integral, I'd be indefinite, so I can be the area under ALL your curves.

I want to be your derivative, so I can be tangent to all your curves.

You’re more special that relativity.

Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks "The usual, Descartes?" Descartes replies "I don't think.." and disappears.

"There are 10 types of people in the world: those that understand ternary, those that don't, and those scrambling for a dictionary."

[Nessa NetMonster]

If you were an x-y plane, I’d want to approach your origin from positive integers.

 

[Verminoz]

Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender asks "The usual, Descartes?" Descartes replies "I don't think.." and disappears.

Αυτό ήταν καλό

[vasso]

απάλευτα...!

I want to be your derivative, so I can be tangent to all your curves.

Έλεος... φαντάζομαι ήδη ηλεκτρολόγο να την πέφτει σε ηλεκτρολόγα με αυτή τη φράση.... μωρό.. ξέρεις... θα 'θελα να μου η παράγωγός σου
-γιατί;
-για να εφάπτομαι σε όλες σου τις καμπύλες....
-...(ααχ)...

[bjork]

ανατρίχιασα